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Head writer and chief senior advisor, Geordie McGrath, is upset about dogs.

Where do dogs get off thinking they’re so special? Walking around the town acting like they’re better than me. I didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t understand what gives them the right to do this! 

Sometimes as a human I like going to the park. The dogs they go to the park too. That’s fine. No problems with me. But then sometimes I wanna go to the park and just hang out with my human friends! I don’t have that luxury. Dogs on the other hand get an entire park, in fact SEVERAL entire parks just for them. Dog park! Dog parks! There’s no human parks! Parks just for the human people? We don’t have any of those! But parks just for dogs? There are lots! Like quite a few of them! That to me as a human is unacceptable.

I also cannot accept that dogs get to eat the bones. When I try and eat the bones people treat me very badly, but when dog eats the bones it’s cool??? This is a sick double standard that I can no longer just sit idly by and accept. As a human it should be acceptable for me to eat the bones.

Dogs also do this thing where they sort of look at you like they’re judging you for your bad decisions and I don’t appreciate that. I’m trying to live my life and the dogs of the world want me to fail. I shouldn’t be expected to convince every dog not to judge me. I shouldn’t have to spend my time talking to every dog and asking them politely to stop publicly judging me. It’s an unfair expectation put on the human people, myself in particular. I can see the way they look at me and it is a look of contempt. I haven’t done anything to the dogs and the dogs look at me with such disdain. 

Sorry dogs, but your days are numbered.

Whoever is in charge needs to fix this immediately or I will have no choice but to kill the dogs. 

Kind Regards,

Geordie McGrath

What is the deal with dogs?

Tuesday June 5, 2018

OPINION - Geordie McGrath

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